Subject: Silliness - Was Re: IC: Wolves Glen Pub
From: Ceredwyn 'Silverblue' Ealanta <silverblue(AT)gothbunny.net>
Date: Fri, 15 Mar 2002 13:26:32 +1100

Serena Hunt wrote:

>>"Yelyana-Wrong? What did she do to you, some sort of mental
>>control?"
> "She was th' wrong Yelyena, no' th' one tha's supposed to be here.
> An' aye, she di' somethin', an' had me utterly convinced tha'
> everyone I loved was in terrible danger." She shakes her head.
> "'Twas no' comfortable."

And on that note!

I wrote this to annoy Geoffrey :) It makes more sense if you've read the Very Secret Diaries (http://www.verysecretdiaries.com/), but hopefully it will be unpleasant all the same.

----------------------------------------

The Very Secret Diary of William Gordon

Day 1
Still not Garou. V annoyed because brother is busy mocking me for not turning into nine foot tall killing machine. Pointed out that he is a pansy who looks like poodle with bad fur and despite being galliard doesn't know any tune other than 'My Dog Has Fleas'. Was pushed into well, nearly lost ability to make sarcastic remarks before mother fished me out. Wrote a poem about it.

Day 2
Moot called to discuss 'werewolf things'. Everyone pretending is V. serious, but I have seen how much Glenfiddich is being rolled up hill in barrels. Chorus of 'My Dog Has Fleas' is lasting into night, quite irritating when being sung by thirty drunk Fianna. I don't believe this is part of Litany, no matter what they say. Only ray of light is rather pretty Silver Fang who slapped brother with rolled up newspaper on nose when he goosed her.
Still not Garou.

Day 4
Really like Silver Fang. V. Sweet. Have very large hickey marks now, older brother is jealous. Wrote a poem about it, in style of cousin. Was pushed into well. Sang 'My Dog Has Fleas' until he pulled me out. Got lecture on 'Garou do not mate with Garou'. Told him he is big poofy haired pansy who is jealous & cannot get laid even by the promiscuous terrier next door.

Day 16
Broken bones healing a treat. Maybe I do have more Garou blood than I thought. Could be problem while dating cute Silver Fang. Litany V. strict on subject. Was not aware Litany also had rules about being the one to collect doggy bags after pub meals. Also not sure doggy bags should contain so much whiskey.

Day 17
Still not Garou. Big moot being called, being another reason to get sloshed as far as I can tell. Have been forced to cook again - put anchovies in everything, which will sort the bastards. Thinking they are pushing Litany too far - also, V. disturbed by scary Get of Fenris guest called 'Helga' who is telling me V. scary things about kinfolk and breeding.

Day 18
Everyone, including Helga and Pretty Pretty Silver Fang Francis is gone off for Wild Hunt. Am feeling V. sulky. Never get to have any fun, and terrier from next door is moping on foot. Go out to be sulky in storm, because am Romantic Poet. Find little vampire lass and get cosy with her. Get huge bloody hickeys, not sure how to hide these ones.

Day 19
Everything is fine. Tell everyone brother's terrier got over-excited and attacked me. Write poetry about illusion and family. Brother says they decide at Moot to have me go back to Finland with Helga to breed big strapping boys. Try to say Garou blood strong & Litany says is not allowed. Am told am Garou enough for this. Cannot cope. Off to London.

Day 34
Go me! Found way to be uber-gothic romantic hero - am using little vampire's information to pretend to be bloodless wonder myself. Is not hard - have much experience from Charles Dickens-like childhood back in Gord. Also, is much warmer without heating in London than in bloody home, plus smell less like wet dog. Also, have excuse to write reams and reams of poetry and everyone has to like it because of Toreador credentials. Passing letters back home by way of Silver Fang, but am only being asked whether vamps can distil liquor at a higher grade.

Day 120
Am so much the hero. Hurrah me! Have excuse to get snogged hopelessly by Francis - pretend I have vamp lover to cover bruise marks. But - bad thing, brother finds London address and gives me lecture on Litany. Told not allowed to date Francis. Thrown in Thames. Caught a cold. Get sulky and have a fight with them both over it all and throw everyone out of house so can storm around in heinous poet fit of rage.

Day 121
Feeling v.bad. Go to Francis' house to apologise and say brother is big suck who has obsession with small yappy dogs. Vamp-suck ghoul sees me, goes tattling on me to everyone in vamp hierarchy, tells them all I'm really human.

Night 121
Cannot cope. Slit wrists and try to go out in nice romantic poet way. Brujah vampire finds me. Damn smell of blood. Now I never get to be Garou! Big poutings.
Killed by Sabbat. Stupid Sabbat.

Night 213
Smash. Fun.

Night 282
Smash. Fun. Grr. Argh.

Night 315
Smash. Grr. Argh.

Night 378
Grr. Argh.

Night 391
Argh. Bored.

Night 400
Now V. bloody bored. Cannot believe was made Brujah, not Toreador. Bonus, though - everyone too scared to laugh at poetry. Miss snogging cute Silver Fang. Sniffle.

Night 412
Another stupid game of cricket with mortal's heads. Getting bored, plus, pack members with celerity cheating. Naughty pack mates. Go walking in huffy Brujah way, find Francis. Oops. She notices am a bit dead. Tells me would rather date dead Brujah kinfolk than terrier-loving freak. Go me!

Night 413
Francis jealous of pack, goes and eats them. I try to tell her is open relationship, all the rage, and anyway is vinculum and not much I can do. Some pack members also eat her. Try not to get jealous myself. She is killed by Sabbat. Stupid Sabbat. Drink last of girlfriend's blood, accidentally get into timeshare arrangement with soul, which is nice, but noisy. Still, not like Sabbat now. Bad Sabbat. Get into towering huff and sod off to join Camarilla, who have better fashion sense.

Night 418
Unforseen problem w/sharing soul with Silver Fang. Want to slap other vampires. Fortunately, covered neatly by being Brujah & everyone expects reaction anyway. Yay!

Night 419
Punch a Toreador.

Night 420
Punch another Toreador.

Night 421
Stupid Toreador now not critique my poetry meanly. Hah. Anyway, I am the prettiest.

Night 30101
Wait for Punk to be invented so can be v. Romantic and poetic and head butt people whenever I like. Rather like being Brujah now.

Night 71021
Find Wolves Glen Pub. Have Fianna here who do not do dubious things with yappy dogs. Plus, free food in exchange for stories, of which can babble on about for days without Garou realising am making up bunch of lies. Yay me. Hang out in pub being red-haired and cute. See no reason to leave - can tease people here and no one allowed to stake me. Also, if mopey here, people buy more drinks. Great place. Staying here to harass captive audience and bait Russian Ventrue.

Night 73291
Ventrue stakes me. Am now dating her. Not sure how that happened. Don't care. Am prettiest person in pub. Go me!

--
Ceredwyn Ealanta | "I'll give you dead hereos
gothbunny.net | You are all invited to the show.
lacunae.keenspace.com | I'll give you love and napalm." - Gary Numan