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For context, see the thread
Encrypted Widebeam: Invitation, begun by Edie Howe on Oct. 16, 2002, and various related postings on alt.devilbunnies between October 16 and mid-November, 2002. Note especially the stories:
- Late Night Repast by Edie with Andrew and Malada
- Something Stri-Ped This Way Comes by Scott "Moxie" Bernier and Buzzy
- Masque mostly by the Fouriers (Geoffrey, Ceredwyn, and Andrew)
- Trick or Treat by Edie
Subject: Re: Encrypted Widebeam: Invitation
Date: 24 Oct 2002 17:43:08 GMT
MstSgt Edith Totten
>*****BunnyStumper Deluxe Encryption Activated*****
>***Widebeam to all Anti-Bunny Forces***
>
>Origin: Office of the Liaison, Fort Roger Williams, RI
>Name: Master Sergeant Edith Totten
>Authority: by the Commanding Officer, RI Hunters of the Cunning Hare
>Subject: Invitation to social event
>To: All Anti-Devilbunny Forces
>
>Greetings, Fellow Warriors;
>
>It is my pleasure to announce the First Annual Halloween Masquerade
>Ball hosted by the Rhode Island Hunters of the Cunning Hare.
>
>The day is Halloween, Oct 31, 2002.
>Dinner will be served in the Mess Hall commencing at 6:00 pm.
>Dancing will begin at 7:00 pm in the Aircraft Hanger.
>Entertainment will be provided by Lee Press-on and the Nails
>
>If you perform in any way, you are invited to share your talent with
>the gathering. Simply let me know in your response.
>
>R.S.V.P. by Friday, Oct 25th.
>
>Sincerely,
>MSgt. Edith Totten
>Liaison Officer
>Ft. Roger Williams, RI
>"We don't give a damn HOW they did it back at NoCo!"
>
>****BunnyStumper Deluxe Widebeam deactivated***
[s]
Les arrived home, packages in hand, to find loud music blasting from the stereo and Gina and Marsha dancing in the his sparsely furnished living room.
"What is going on?" he asked loudly over the swing music.
"Leftie showed us the invitation!" Gina said, "We should go!"
"Meet other fighters!" Marsha added."'Cause it ain't hip 'til you're in total pain!" They chorused with the singer.
Les put down his packages and hit pause on the CD player. "And who said we were going? Think people! Secrecy and Deceit!"
"Even among our own people?" Gina said, "Hell, I don't even know any of the others besides Phong."
"Cell groups," Les answered, "Fewer chances for bunnies to find out about us. And remember what happened to NoCo..."
"This isn't NoCo!" Gina continued, "They don't give a damn how NoCo did it, they're independant of the AoF, like we are. We probably have a lot in common. We *should* go and make contact. Besides, I'm ahead in my school work and Marsha's taking some time off."
Les pursed his lips. "You have a point. Let me try to clear it with Phong. Two conditions. If we go, we only refer to ourselves by our agent names."
Marsha nodded. "Security reasons. Makes sense."
"And we go with a 1920 - 1930's theme."
The two women looked speculatively at each other. "Flappers?" Gina suggested.
"Uh-uh," Marsha said immediately. "How about Gangsters? I know where to get some violin cases... we can bring Omega Weapons. I can rig something with those broken supper-soakers and some LEDs and things."
"Yes! I'll curl my hair and go as a moll..."
"No skirts for me," Marsha said with a grin, "but * I can get a pin-striped suit and have it modifed to fit."
She turned to Les. "And you?"
He waved his hand. "Let me clear it first," and started the Lee Press-on CD again.
With that he mounted the stairs to his room. Behind closed doors he hooked up the laptop Phong had given him and sent out an encrypted message:
"Phong... crew ready and willing to make contact. Will investigate and report back." - Matrix
That done he opened up his packages and changed his clothes. Taking a moment to admire himself in his grandfather's Zoot Suit he struck a pose.
"It ain't hip 'til you're in total pain!" he said to the mirror.
[/s]
*****BunnyStumper Deluxe Encryption Activated*****
The Mixed Fudd Division will send three agents to your celebration. Expect one Guy and two Dolls. Separate sleeping quarters are requested.
Agent Matrix, MFD
To Rend and Defend
*****BunnyStumper Deluxe Encryption Deactivated*****
Subject: Re: To All Attendees of the First Annual Masquerade Ball
Date: 01 Nov 2002 06:47:19 GMT
>Widebeam to all Attendees of the First Annual Masquerade
Ball at Ft.
>Roger Williams
>
> Please forgive the lateness of this notification, but recent
>developments mandate that Devilbunnies will be attending. Be it known
>that this party is peaceful in nature, and all attendees are advised
>that any attempt to injure or harm other attendees will not be
>tolerated by the Commanding Officer and Staff of Ft. Roger Williams.
>
>For the duration of the festivities, the Laws of Hospitality are
>sacrosanct.
>
>Thank you for your kind consideration in this matter.
>
>By direction of Col. Geo Whittier
>Mst. Sgt. E. Totten
>Liaison Officer
>Ft. Roger Williams
[s]
"Oh man... there'll be *bunnies* there?" Marsha fumed, "and they want us to be *nice* to them?"
"I'll bet Les will pull us out of this mess," Gina replied. She sighed. "And you got that nice suit for the occasion."
As if cued to appear Les came down the stairs, his look thoughtful. "I've talked with Phong, and he's leaving it up to me. Now, these Rhode Island 'Hunters' are either incredibly stupid, or they got something up their sleeve. Or not, I don't know. Marsha, how are our 'Omega' weapons shaping up?"
Puzzled, Marsha produced an modified super-soaker. Along with blinking lights and strange protruberances, it was covered with radioactivity warnings and a large Mr. Yuk sticker. When she pulled the trigger the lights flashed brightly and made fun SciFi sounds. "And they can fit right inside a viola case," she said proudly. "There a little too big for a violin case."
"Good," he nodded and grinned evilly. "We're going. But we'll need to make a few changes to our little toy guns..."
[/s]
"This must be da place," Les announced in his best Chicago accent as they came up the road.
"Let's see," Gina said as she studied the place. "Check-point, barracks, pumpkins carved like bunnies... this must be da place." She reached behind and gently nudged a snoozing Marsha. "Hey, we're here."
"Yeah?" she murmured and stretched. "Gimme another soda," she asked. Gina frowned and passed her back a one liter bottle. Marsha took a swag and and shuddered. "Man, that's got a kick," she proclaimed as she screwed the top back on the Coke bottle. A small gray mop of fur on her lap unfolded and yawned. Marsha scratched the squirrel's head. "You ready, good buddy?"
<chitter> "Let's do this."
"Remember everyone, agent names only," Les said as he rolled down the window at the check point. "Evening soldier. Agents Matrix, Stick, Bone and Leftie of the Mixed Fudd Division reporting for Party Duty."
They parked the rusty Cavalier, got out three viola cases and made final tweaks to their outfits. Stick and Bone each pocketed a small, freshly opened bottle of Coke in their long jackets. Matrix belted his trenchcoat and looked over his troops. "You know the assignment. You are ordered to have Fun," his voice dropped to a whisper as someone approached. "Watch your backs."
"To Rend and Defend," they all said quietly.
<chitter!>
"Check it out," Matrix said as he opened the viola case. "The Offical MFD Grinchton Particle Q-Space Explosive Modulator," and hefted the silver painted Super-Soaker out of it's case. "Experimental Model III." He winked. "It's completely harmless. Does make fun noises. And look, we even took off the water tank. That okay?"
MstSgt. Totten frowned for a moment as she picked up the weapon. Carefully she pointed it at the ground and pressed the trigger. She was rewarded with it frantically flashing its lights. Several cheap sound chips made it beep, boop, and finally, burp. She couldn't help but smile at the last sound effect. She checked the other two with equally comic results. "You know there's bunnies arriving, Agent Matrix. We don't want any trouble."
"We're here to party, not fight," Matrix said with a smile.
"Okay, just don't point them at anyone."
"You got it," and waved his group in.
Inside, Lee Press-On and the Nails had broken into 'Powerhouse.' Listening with approval to the 1930's industrial sound Hannibal inspected the buffet. Mara and Heartwyrm had to make stop to 'powder their noses' and he took the opportunity to check out the food. A low table was set up for the Wyrmbunnies with quite the spread. He nibbled the Swedish Meat balls (discretely labeled 'with' and 'without') and delicately licked his fangs, savoring the flavors. His costume was simplicity itself. A hat, an eyepatch and an armload of NoBunny Catalogs had produced the desired looks of fear and loathing.
A movement at the door caught his attention. Two women stepped in; one was dressed in a fedora and pin striped suit which was cut to accentuate her feminine curves while the other came in a long skirt and frilly top, her heavily curled hair spilling out from her own fedora. Both were carrying viola cases. They scanned the crowd and nodded to each other. They stepped to each side of the door and a slender man with round sunglasses marched in. The cuffs of his pants were impossibly tight while his shoulders impossibly large. He too, carried a viola case. On his shoulder sat a squirrel also dressed in a pin stripped suit with a tiny fedora. Almost as one the three humans reached up with their right hands and smoothed the brims of their hats. The squirrel a provided a counterpoint by using her left paw to adjust hers. It looked like the Mob had come to Rhode Island and were looking to do a hit. As he looked at them he felt a tremor of fear dance up his spine. The man looked familiar....
The band reached the middle part of 'Powerhouse' and the man in the Zoot Suit pulled out a pocket watch on a long chain. "Perfect timing," he said and to the beat they all sauntered towards the bar, the man twirling his watch in sync with the music.
Hannibal's ears flattened to his skull. He sucked in a breath and stared at the man. "Trenchcoat," he whispered, "it's Trenchcoat..."
Agent Matrix sat tensely on the barstool. Behind him on the bar lay the MFD 'weapons' for everyone to view and enjoy. Also, behind him were a lot of tempting alcoholic drinks. He shook off the urge; one bender was enough for one lifetime. Not only would getting drunk when bunnies were about be stupid, he knew it won't ease the pain.
He watched Agents Stick and Bone cutting up the dance floor. Since Agent Bone had moved in he'd watched the two women grow close and had it hurt. But he was a gentleman, and if Stick felt no attraction to him, he was in not going to press matters.
The two women came off the floor laughing and smiling. "Come on, stick in the mud," Bone said as she grasped his hand, pulling him off the stool.
Stick waved him on. "I'll watch the bunnies," and she said and took over his seat.
He passed her the bottle of Coke he had in his jacket and proceeded to the floor with the other woman. It took them a song or two get their bearings with each other but they soon fell into sync. Knowing Stick was watching his back he relaxed and loosened up. By the third song Matrix began to hit his stride and his dancing took off. He smiled broadly. It'd been some time since he'd been out dancing and it was nice to know he could still strut his stuff.
The band played a slow song and they came in close. "You dance pretty good for a short guy," she quipped quietly in his ear.
"I was in 'Guys and Dolls' in both high school and college," he whispered with a grin. "And my folks were real trotters -it's in the blood. I noticed you haven't left the dance floor all evening."
"It's a religious thing," she whispered humorously.
"Really? What religion..."
Their conversation was broken by the sound of a short scream. Matrix and Bone quickly turned around, back to back and alert for an attack. Matrix reached into his jacket and pulled out a pepper spray. Behind him he heard the <snick> of Bone's lockblade knife. He glanced at the bar and saw Stick quickly attach the Moxie(tm) filled Coke bottle to one of their modified supersoaks. Even with all the lights and cheap sound chips, Bone's last minute work had restored them to full functionality - minus the water containers. Now loaded with Moxie(tm) at least one would protect them from a bunny attack. He looked over to where the bunnies were, but that wasn't where the action was. He scanned the floor and saw that the noise was coming from a scuffle between two humans.
He held up his hand - a sign telling Stick to hold her fire. "To the bar," he said to Bone, "NOW!" and they both made a dash for the weapons. "And keep an eye on those buns!"
As the two got to the bar Stick motioned with her head. "Looks like 'Jason' got tackled by 'Indian Chief,'" she said dryly. "No bunnies at all."
"Oh yeah?" Bone sneered, "then what's that 'bunny buggy' and cargo doing over there?"
Matrix looked over and saw one of the guests; Antony Scapaldi and the gray doe he was carrying over where the downed human was. "Damn," he muttered, "we came loaded for bunnies, and they stage a symp attack."
"Well it looks like it's over," Stick said, moving to remove the Moxie(tm) filled Coke bottle from her supersoaker.
"Don't," ordered Matrix. "I this may just be the beginning."
"Fine," she shrugged. "So what if someone asks about the bottle?"
"Tell them the we have tricks of our own," he said without humor. "We should stick together from now on."
Bone put away her knife and took his hand. "No, we should go dancing some more," she said with an evil grin. "That was the real first smile I've seen out of you in weeks."
Stick nodded, "She's right. You two go... I'll keep on eye on things. Besides, everyone's on alert now. We should be safe."
He blinked at the two women. "Have I been that bad?"
"Yes," they chorused.
He pocketed his pepper spray and was silent for several long moments. Visions of NoCo danced in his head but he pushed them away. No, Stick was right this time. "Very well," he agreed with a sigh, "but I won't enjoy myself."
"Liar," Bone laughed as she pulled him back onto the dance floor.
Leftie made the difficult scramble up onto the hanger roof. For most squirrels it won't have been a problem, but for a squirrel with a lame front paw it was a struggle. But she was used to it and managed anyways. She was feeling a little disappointed; although she'd seen several interesting computers through the base's windows, all the windows were stoutly closed and locked. There was even one very cool looking computer set up all by itself - far away from the others. It glowed oddly in the darkness and she thought she could hear it chuckling...
Squeezing through a small hole she re-entered the hanger. She retrieved her fedora and pin-striped jacket from where she'd stashed it. She bounced amid the rafters and soon found her Fudds; Gina...oops.. Agent Stick, had one of the funny weapons while her two other squirrel friends were out 'dancing.' Her tail <flick><flicked> as she studied them. She knew she should meet the other squirrels, but at the moment she was caught up observing her favorite humans.
The motion of the crowd caught her attention. Leftie chuckled as the 'devilskunks' moved towards the punch bowl, clearing the way in front of them. With a few leaps she was over the punch bowl. She twitched her tail in displeasure. Was that a devilbunny down there?
"Enemy in range! Fire!" one of the 'skunks' called out.
Uh-oh, Leftie thought as the smell of vanilla wafted upwards.
"Bullseye, sir!"
She saw the bunny pass out and she put a paw in mouth to stop herself from chitterscreeeing out loud. It was only unblessed vanilla! That was so funny!
There was another commotion on the floor and her ears caught the word 'Buzzy'.
With mouth agape she stared down to see a squirrel practically entrapped in fabric embracing the soggy bun. *That's* Buzzy?
<disdainflick> "Buzzy, you bunny-hugger," she said smugly to herself. "Next time we banter, you are so dead."
"So, what do you think of the Four?" Agent Matrix asked Agent Bone as they lounged at the bar.
"Odd," Bone said as she drank her ginger ale. "Nearly every one of them came as the Red Death. All different mind you, but all the same." She nodged him. "I see Stick has been talking to... Laburnum? for quite some time."
"I like them," Matrix said leaning against the bar. "They have the right attitude towards bunnies." He finished his ginger ale and passed her the disguised super-soaker. "Here, your turn. I need a little air."
She clasped him on the shoulder. "Stay alert. Keep your pepper spray handy."
He stepped out of the hanger and breathed in the cold night air. If the Hunters of the Cunning Hare had a Cunning Plan by inviting the bunnies to their base, he hadn't seen it in play. He wasn't sure if they Hunters were sneakier than he thought or just plain stupid. He couldn't shake the feeling that by showing the bunnies their base Fort Williams had NoCo written all over it...
The door creaked open and a small form wearing a hat and an eye patch hopped out. "Ah, Agent Matrix. Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Hannibal <grinch>," and the wyrmbunny bowed, "A recent convert to the Four."
Matrix had to smile. "Glad to meet another Fourier. And I have to say, your simple NoBunny costume is far more fearful than the Red Death."
"Why thank, good sir." The creature hesitated. "I must say that we have met before - please hear me out. I was once... one of Them," he said with disgust, "ky00t and hungry for toes. It was a long time ago in a warren called Northside Parlor Ci..."
With lightning speed Matrix snatched the bun up and slammed him against the wall of the hanger. He held the pepper spray up to Hannibal's face. "Talk fast," he growled.
With the Fudd's hand crushing his throat Hannibal began to choke. "Please... there's no need... I'm not the bun I used to be..."
Matrix relaxed his grip and slowly let the wyrmbunny down. "Sorry," he said lamely.
"Understandable." He dusted himself off. "You gave *me* quite the fright when you walked in. I could not imagine myself coming face to face with the famous Trenchcoat once again."
"Trenchcoat?"
"Yes, that's what the buns call you," Hannibal continued. "Let us say they are *not* happy with you around. Neither was I after you gooped me to the ground."
"You were snacking on toes," Matrix pointed out.
"Er, yes," he said sounding embarrassed. <tiltear> "Quite. Toes are not that common and we had set up a little black market. Your intervention led to my being caught and punished."
"Really?" Matrix squatted down, interested. "What happened?"
"Well, to get that goop off off us they had to shave us..."
"Heh."
"Then they forced us into The Box where grinchy music was played at very high volume." Hannibal twitched an ear. "That hurt. Then, solitary confinement. It's the worst punishment one can give to a bunny; we're very social creatures. I was alone in absolute darkness and absolute silence for months. It was there that Voices came to me."
"Voices?"
"Yes," His eyes grew wide. "Yes. They told me the Truth. They led me to the Four. They... they brought me home. And for that, I want to thank you. If it wasn't for you, I won't be here." He extended a taloned paw.
Matrix stared for a moment and carefully shook the paw. "It was my pleasure kicking bunny butt. Now that we're allies perhaps you could help me with some information on your old warrens?"
Hannibal sighed. "Any information I have is long out of date, but I'll send you as much as I could remember of the warren. You have to understand that the conversion does something to our brains... my memories of my former life are a bit jumbled and confused." He looked back towards the door. "If you'll excuse me, I should get back to my date. She'll be needing a few more napkins by now." <grinch>
"Wait. Do that again."
"What?" Hannibal asked, confused at first. "Oh, you mean <grinch>?"
"Yeah," he grinned. "Feels clean."
<fangygrin> "Heh. Glad you like it," he replied and hopped back inside.
"Ah, Agent Matrix," Col. Whitter said as he walked to his office. "I trust your people enjoyed themselves?"
"You put on an excellent breakfast as well as an exceptional party, sir," Agent Matrix said they entered the colonel's office. "In fact, one of my Associates stayed up all night. I thought I'd give you our compliments before we head for home. But now that it's just us Fudds tell me, why exactly did you invite the bunnies? Especially to the heart of your operations?" He raised his eyebrows. "Care to let me in on your Cunning Plan?"
Col. Whittier looked at the young man before him. He chuckled softly, and and the skin around his eyes crinkled with his smile. "Agent Matrix, I can see you are a young man of considerable potential. Imaginative, dedicated, inventive. You've also had contact with Devilbunnies as the enemy. You've killed them, and done so when it needed to be done."
Matrix nodded.
The colonel stopped and considered the young man in a thoughful manner before continuing. "My troops have never even seen a live devilbunny before. The training they've had will never, ever press home the fact devilbunnies are intelligent, thinking, feeling, self-aware creatures."
Again, Matrix nodded. "If it was anything like the training I received you are quite correct."
The colonel turned, and stared out his office window. He turned his back to Agent Matrix. "In every human war where atrocities occurred, the perpetrators had made a point of de-humanizing the enemy. We don't have to do that. Our enemy is not human to begin with. And frankly, I do not want to have to deal with Omega Violation accusations against my troops, Agent Matrix. If having a party where no one is killed, or hurt will introduce my green troops to just what we are dealing with, then by Holy Elmer and St. Yosemite Sam, I will have such a party."
Matrix considered his words. "Interesting. I hadn't thought of it that way. We are not as well equiped or as well manned as you are here. By necessity, the MFD had to adopt more gurrilla tactics. Allowing the enemy to know any of our locations would be suicide for us. This is war sir, and you can't trust devilbunnies."
Whittier took his seat at his desk, and continued. "I loathe war, Agent Matrix. I loathe killing sentient beings. I am here to keep the peace, to try to maintain that delicate balance between the Devilbunnies and human beings. And if we can stave off atrocities by finding common ground for a few hours at a party, then so be it. I hope that answers your question of cunning plans or stupidity, sir."
The younger man's eyes widened briefly. He smiled, embarrassed. "I did wonder about your sanity or your intelligence, sir. Forgive me," and he bowed his head, "for I come from a different world. Long ago, a betrayal decimated the Fudds in my area and we have survived only by the use of Secrecy and Deceit. We are hidden even from our own allies so that kind of betrayal never happens again. Seeing that you invited the Enemy into the very core of your operations... what was I to think?"
The colonel smiled back. "Don't worry about it son. You have a safe drive home."
"Thank you sir. I give you our salute," he put his hand over his heart. "To Rend, and Defend."
The End
[/s]
"Party Duty in Rhode Island"
Written mostly by Malada2@aol.com
In Collaboration with
Andrew
Buzzy
Edie
Geoffrey
SilverBlue
Property (sandbox) Manager
Edie
Orangutan Wrangling
Andrew
Squirrel Stunts
Leftie
With Lee Press-On and the Nails as themselves
All characters are copyrighted to their original authors. Thanks guys!
Archives at www.parlorcity.net
And even though I pumped this story out so fast that she didn't get to edit it, my thanks to Kylinn... as always. [Heh, I corrected a few typos as I was readying this for the web anyway - K.]
~JennyM
Originally published on alt.devilbunnies November 1-11, 2002.