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The events of this story happen soon after the destruction of NoCo. Someday, I'm going to learn to be a faster writer.
~JennyM
Trenchcoat? Check.
Sunglasses? Check.
Grease Gun?
Les felt the comforting weight of his odd weapon that glued bunnies to the ground. He grinned evilly. Sticky bunnies, that's a good one. Oh yeah. Check.
But there were no bunnies to be had on the top level of Binghamton's tallest parking ramp. Just a few cars and an anonymous looking white van with frosted windows. As per orders he approached the van, stepped to the left, then the right, and then turned as if he was looking all about him. If the van was Phong's he'd be let in.
The van door opened and he was waved inside. Within were a big, bearded man - Agent Sargasso - an old man wearing a straw hat - Commander Phong- and a man with a very large hairdo.
"Good to see you again, Agent Matrix," said Phong, as the door closed. He motioned to the man with the large hair. "This is Agent Bob. He's been offically promoted to Second in Command."
They shook hands. "Heard a lot about you, Matrix," Agent Bob said with a smile. "All good."
"Let us begin," Phong said and turned on the van's stereo. Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkerie' blared out of the speakers. "As you know, NoCo is gone. Destroyed. Fortunately, there was little loss of life, but the base has been leveled. This has proved the merit of our Way - that of secrecy and deceit. But we're not here to congratulate ourselves, but to make sure of our secrecy both on the bunny side," he glanced about seriously, "and the Fudd side."
"Wait," Matrix said confused, "The Fudd side?"
Phong held up a long finger, "If the bunnies hit NoCo, who's to say they didn't snatch the records of every known Fudd base before blowing it up?"
The silence was punctated by the clashing of cymbals by the Berlin Radio Philharmonic.
Agent Sargasso moved uncomfortably in his seat. "So the bunnies could know where we are from those records..."
"Ah," Phong said with a shady smile. "I'm the only one with contacts with NoCo, and the contact address they have is just a drop point. So we're safe on that point. What about that Fudd trainer that came through here a while ago?"
"He had a lot of great ideas," Matrix enthusastically, "Although he looked like he hadn't slept in a month."
"Did you take him to fake training grounds? And only there?"
"Sure did," Sargasso said sourly. "And the we tore the whole thing down again when he left. Just as you ordered. It was a real pain in the ass, Phong."
"And consistantly used your 'Agent' names only?" Phong scruntinized them carefully. "Are you sure?"
Both men nodded.
"Good. Even if he did report the location to NoCo, it will be the wrong place. Now about retaliation..."
Matrix grinned widely. Time to take out the buns.
"... do nothing," Phong said firmly.
"What!" The three men yelled over Brunhilde's wailing.
"Without NoCo our supply of vaccine is limited. As far as we know, the local warrens aren't overrun with HLV but I have it on good authority that they've made contact with other warrens who do. I will not have my agents being turned into fluffers! In addition, any attack done rashly will increase the chance of it being done badly. Besides," he looked at them seriously, "NoCo may have been an inside job."
Matrix rocked back. "You mean symps? At NoCo? No way."
"As the young folks are saying these days, way. I've seen the place. It was not well concealed or well guarded."
"You didn't tell me you trained at NoCo," Bob said with a questioning look.
Phong smiled his mysterious smile. "Who said I did?"
"And if the buns attack?" Sargasso asked.
"Put them down," Phong replied. "Hard. But be careful."
"Gentlemen," he concluded, "we have to double our precautions. Matrix, does that house of yours have a dry cellar with high ceilings?"
He nodded.
"Good," Phong replied sounding pleased. "I want you and Agent Stick to set up an indoor training site in the basement as soon as possible."
"I don't know if I trust the squirrels," Matrix said slowly. "They practically blackmailed us to get their nuts and Internet access." He frowned. "And they're into everything..."
"Put up with them. That's an order. Dismissed."
Matrix left the van and walked back to his car, disappointed. He was itching to go splorch some furballs, but was denied that pleasure for the moment. But sometimes, he reflected, pleasures delayed could sometimes be all the more enjoyable. He patted the Grease Gun. "Be patient my dear... "
"Be patient."
President Mellow Ears hopped into his lounge chair and pawed the remote. Two large screens flickered to life. One had the calm, cool image of Lorrie Whitetail, the leader of Riverside Warren. The other displayed the annoyed visage of "Bouncy" Donnie Coniglio, leader of Northside.
Mellow Ears <fluffed> with pleasure. "So Gentlebuns, how do you like our way cool video link?"
"It's very nice..." Lorrie began.
"Cut the crap," Bouncy interupted, "whaddu want?"
"Let us discuss the most important event in recent history," Mellow Ears said soothingly, "NoCo."
"Don't know who pulled that off," Bouncy <fangygrinned> "But I'd love to shake their paw."
"But who did it?" Lorrie said quietly. "I'd think that the warren responsible would be crowing all over the Bunnet, with video clips on BunTV. Have either of you seen anything?"
"Of course not!" Bouncy snarled, "If everybun knew who did it the news would get out. Then the Fudds would locate and eliminate that warren with extreme prejudice. Nobun is going to take that risk."
"If they were powerful enough to wreck NoCo," Lorrie pondered, "they could probably handle a mass Fudd attack. And perhaps goad the survivors into a trap."
Mellow Ears looked with appreciation at the serene white bunny that led the heretic warren. "The question is," he said, "what are the local Fudds going to do?"
"They'll attack," Bouncy replied. "We should strike first."
"I don't think so," Lorrie countered, "Although the local Fudds might attack, it's more likely they'll hold off until they have more information about the NoCo first. But if we launch any type of attack they _will_ come down on us, and come down hard. And let's face it, from their attacks the last time we know what they're capable of."
Mellow Ears simply nodded. The place had reeked of vanilla for weeks. And he had the impression that the Fudds had pulled their punches for some reason. "So, we're agreed then? We stay cool and be chilling for a while? And hope some hot head doesn't do something ungroovy to fluff it up?" He stared at Bouncy.
Bouncy bared his fangs. "If see any Fudd around I'll <snick> him myself!" he proclaimed waving his claws in the air.
"Sheesh Bouncy, take a chill pill," Mellow Ears said.
"This is President Mellow Ears, over and I'm outta here!" and cut the connection.
Furry Thunderfoot wiggled his arthritic body through the old tunnel. It had been many years since he'd secretly dug it and he rarely used it. But the phone call he'd gotten on his private line had been short and specific. They had to meet face to face. Only a serious emergency could trigger the need for such a meeting, and Furry knew this definitely qualified.
The field was clear when he poked his head up from Below. He hopped out and looked around in the darkness. It seemed deserted. He sat and waited by the flat stones that was the meeting place. As the cresent moon rose like a scythe Furry wondered if this would be the last meeting.
"Hello, old friend."
Furry sighed, hearing the voice behind him. "Peek a boo."
"Knowledge is a three edged sword." An old man wearing a straw hat came out of the darkness and sat down next to him. "How are you, Furry?" he asked looking at the moon.
"I'm dying, Phong," Furry said. "I'm dying by inches."
"I'm sorry, Furry," Phong replied softly. "Is Lorrie ready?"
"To run the warren? Yes. To know the truth?" he <shrugpoofled>. "I don't know."
"You must tell her soon. Things have gotten out of hand." He turned to look at the old bun. "Do you know who did it?"
"No. No warren has claimed it. Even the rumor mill is silent. But remember that we're on the outer edges of bundom here. I doubt that anybun locally has the faintest clue."
He paused, carefully watching the old human. "Did you lose anyone at NoCo?"
"No. Even if I had, our agreement still stands: as long as your warren stays out of the war, my Fudds will stay away from it."
It was a deal made long ago and it had held up over many years. "Have you told anyone about our secret treaty?"
"Damned few. Only those I trust."
"Do you trust me?"
Phong snorted. "By the Tao! No!"
"But, we've known each other for so long..." Fuzzy replied, sounding hurt. "... I thought we... might be friends."
"Devilbunnies killed my friends, my family and my innocence," Phong said flatly.
Furry's ears went up. "But that was decades ago. All the buns who perpetrated those acts of unfluffiness are all dead. Do you still carry the hatred of them for that long?"
"Yes."
"Do you... hate me?"
Phong shrugged. "No."
They sat in silence for a moment watching the dying moon. "You said that you needed me to meet someone. Will I get to meet them tonight?" Furry asked.
"Yes." Phong made a motion with his hand. The underbrush rustled and Furry saw another humancome over to them. He was very tall, with even taller hair. "Furry Thunderfoot, meet Agent Bob. If anything happens to me, Agent Bob will take command of the MFD." He glanced down at the aging bun. "I trust him."
"Pleased to meet you," Bob said in a friendly tone of voice. "Phong has just filled me in. I was quite surprised to find out about this personal treaty." The human smiled at him. "Don't worry, I promise hold to our end of the treaty as long as you hold up yours."
"I will," Furry nodded. "We must meet again soon. I'll bring Lorrie Whitetail with me. She needs to know..." <ponderfluff>.
Phong nodded and rose. "You should get back. They might miss you."
"May Frith be with you, Phong. You too, Bob."
And he hopped back down into the tunnel.
The End... for the moment
Originally published on alt.devilbunnies between March 19 and March 22, 2002