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"So we're finally going to meet your boyfriend," the woman said as she laid out her silverware.
"Mom, Les is not my boyfriend," Gina protested for the umpteenth time as she laid out the plates.
"Well you've spent a lot of time with him," her mother scolded gently, "and we've never seen him. Hope you're not hiding anything from us."
No, Gina thought, just a secret war between the humans and a race of carnivorious bunnies. But it had been months since she and the other members of the Mixed Fudd Division had unleashed their reign of terror upon the buns and things were relatively quiet.
Too quiet.
She jumped at the doorbell.
"I'll get it," her father's rich baritone voice sang out. Gina stood at the entrance to the living room and watched worriedly as the two men greeted each other.
"So you're Les?" her father said looking at him doubtfully. Although her father stood eye to eye with the fine-boned Les, he had twice his weight in sheer muscle. Les was wearing his 'office' clothes; tan slacks, soft pastel shirt and a colorful tie. Combined with Les's slender build and curly blond hair the clothes made him look almost effeminate. She found it cute; her father probably found it faggish.
"And you're Gina's father," Les replied and stuck out his hand. "Pleased to meet you Mr. Palmero."
Gina gritted her teeth as her father shook Les's hand. She knew her father's grip was like a vice.
Her father nodded approvingly. "You got a good grip for a skinny guy."
Les shrugged. "I work out a little."
"So Gina tells me," he said. "Did you do sports when you were in school?"
"Track and field," Les replied with a slight smile. "I was a sprinter. During the winter term I did a little shooting."
Her father started to smile. "Do any hunting?"
"Some. Been doing a little small game hunting lately..."
Gina breathed out, relieved to see the two men bonding with traditional male topics. He'd passed the Dad Test.
Her mother stepped into the living room and clapped her hands. "Okay boys, dinner's ready."
"And you must be Mrs. Palmero," Les said coming up to her mother, his eyes twinkling. "Pleased to meet you."
"Gina tells me you work at the dental clinic in Endicott."
"That's right," he said getting the chair for Gina.
"So you're a dental assistant?"
Les paused. "Ah, no. I'm a dentist."
Her mother's eyes opened wide. "I hear dentists make good money..."
Gina smiled. Les passed the Mom Test.
From another doorway an old woman with a cane slowly come into the room. Gina worried about her frail grandmother; even a slight fall might break the woman's fragile bones. But Grandma woman smiled at Les. "So this is the young boy my Regina speaks so little about," she said with a deep Italian accent. She eased herself into the chair at head of the table. "Well, sit down. Eat! Eat! He looks like he could use a good meal. So skinny you are."
"So Les," her father rumbled, "is that short for Lester?"
"Douglas," Les replied as Gina's teenage brother Tony stomped into the room. "There were too many Douglases in my school, so they called me Les."
Tony sneered at him. "So you're Les. Shoulda known she'd hook up with a guy named Dougie."
Les paused in unfolding his napkin. "The only person," he said with a frosty formality, "that calls me 'Dougie' is my sister. Do you understand?"
Tony stared angerly at Les but cooled when his father cleared his throat. "Yeah, yeah," and slouched deeper into his chair.
After that the meal went well. Les was his usual polite, somewhat reserved self. It was almost as if the trenchcoated bunny killer were another person. But her family seemed to like him and that was all that mattered.
After dessert Grandma waved him over. "Les, would you be a good boy and help me back to my room. My grandson seems to be too busy with his toys to help his poor aged grandmother."
Gina tried not to giggle as Tony fumed and Les graciously helped the old woman out of her chair. "You're such a nice boy," Gina heard him say as they went down the hall, "you sit with me and talk."
She attacked the dishes with gusto, secure in her family's acceptance of Les. Now that he had bought a house maybe she could talk about moving in with him...
"Gina?"
She turned and smiled at Les. But he wasn't smiling back. His face was closed, formal. "See you at the regular time?"
"Yes, sure," she replied, confused. "What's wrong?"
"Your grandmother is quite a woman. You should go talk with her," he said quietly. "We'll talk later." A sad smile crossed his face and he gave her a discreet peck on the cheek. He made polite noises to her folks and left.
Later that night Gina approached her grandmother's bedroom. "Grandma?" she asked furtively.
"Oh, Regina, please come in," her grandmother beckoned from her bed. "All that's on TV is reruns," and she clicked the remote. "Close the door, dear. Have a seat."
"What did you say to Les tonight?" she asked curiously.
"Oh, a little truth you haven't had the courage to tell him yet," she said almost cheerfully. "He's a good man, you know. A good catch for almost any girl. But not for you, Regina. You like him, but you'll never love him. I've seen the boys you bring home, but I've also seen the girls too. I've seen how you look at them, the girls."
"Grandma," Gina breathed in astonishment, "you think I'm gay?"
"Just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't know things," her grandma replied and fidgeted with her blankets. "You know I came here from the Old Country, long ago to meet your grandfather. It was an arranged marriage. But more than that, it was to get me away from an evil woman." A smile cracked her wrinkled face. "But I was an evil woman too, you know." Then it faded. "Then I came to America and married. I grew to like your grandfather. He was a good man. But he never touched me," and she placed a hand on her heart, "here. Where it matters. But I keep it secret. Now I am too old, too old."
Gina felt tears form in her eyes. "Oh, granny..."
"So I tell your Les. He's a good man. He deserves to know."
Gina hung her head. "You won't tell anyone else, will you? It would kill Father."
"No. He wouldn't understand. But I do. I know you're not an evil woman. Don't you wait too long to know that, like I did."
She gently hugged the older woman, frail as a matchstick and wiser than she'd believed. "I'll talk to Les, I promise. And thank you."
The woman smiled beatifically and patted Gina's hand. "How they say it now? No problemo? Ah, it almost sounds Italian."
Les entered his mostly empty house and looked about him. It was a large house, with large rooms; room enough for a family with several children. He'd fantasized that he and Gina would marry and fill this rooms with little Fuddlings. He could almost hear them scurrying about the house, then remembered that it was only the squirrels that lived in his attic. The squirrels were his allies but they made poor living company; leaving cashew shells all over the place.
He made his way to his room, locked the door and at numbly on his bed. He'd came from a family of reserved people, always hiding their feelings under masks of civility and politeness. He'd never seen either of his parents cry and now, heartbroken, he didn't really know how.
He'd known other women before but none were like Gina. Strong, positive, ready to do or die. And bright, with a good measure of common sense he'd seen in few other people, let alone women. Yet if her grandmother's words were true their relationship was doomed from the start. He'd never felt so hurt so and alone.
The phone rang. In a fog of emotional pain he picked it up. "Pathways residence."
A high pitched but familiar voice came from the other end. "Dougie? Dougie, it's me, Heather."
The shock of hearing his sister's voice jolted him like lightning. "I don't know anyone named Heather," he said through his teeth and prepared to slam the phone down.
"No! Dougie, please... "
Something made him halt. He didn't know if it was his warm feelings for his pre-bunny sister or the cold calucations his Fudd training, but he had to know more. "How did you get my number?" he asked, trying to remain calm.
"I called mom and dad. They were glad to hear from me; especially after you told them I'd run off and joined some weird cult."
"What was I supposed to tell them?" he asked, biting down his anger. "That you turned into a bunny rabbit?"
"No, you did the right thing. Dougie, I heard you joined those evil people... the Fudds."
"I left them behind when I moved to Binghamton," he lied. "I knew if I stayed I'd might meet you again... in a place and time that would have been ... bad." He took a deep breath. At least that was the truth.
"I miss you Dougie," the voice squeaked. "You're my bestest big brother ever," and a soft furry sound came through the telephone.
"Promise me you'll stay out of the war, Heather," Les said softly. "It's not ky00t. It's not ky00t at all."
"I know Dougie, I know. And I will. Promise me you'll stay out of it too. You know there's no reason for it. Oh Dougie," she pleaded, "you'd fit in so well with us. You're so cute already..."
"Don't," he said sounding ragged. "I can't."
"It's alright, Big Brother." There was a pause. "I love you," she said quietly.
"Love you too," he whispered back and gently hung up the phone. He put his head in his hands.
Something within him broke and his sorrow was released in big racking sobs.
The End - for the moment.
Originally published on alt.devilbunnies between March 25 and March 26, 2002