| Previous Story | Story Archive | Next Story |
"Essence, this is your fault!" The copper-colored buck pointed a paw at the lop.
"That's the fifth warren we've been thrown out of in disgrace! You're blowing the whole thing!"
"Radical times call for radical action!" Essence shot back. "Kermit, you know I'm right!"
"I *thought* you were right, but destruction of property? No. That's not fluffy! No one's going to listen to our message of Peace and Fluffiness if we keep enraging everyone!"
Essence looked at the other devilbunnies around her as they murmured their disapproval. "But we have to get their attention! So what if we used a little spray paint? Stopping The War is more important than some silly billboard advertising Wynn's Fur Glow Shampoo."
One of the other bunnies spoke up. "*You* weren't caught and forced to clean it up."
Kermit turned to the small group. "I call for a vote on removing Essence from leadership."
Another bunny called out, "I vote for removing her from the group!"
Essence sagged as she was democratically kicked out and Kermit installed as the new leader.
"I'm sorry, Essence," Kermit said. "Go back to Riverside."
The lop glanced at the protesters she'd once led. "You've made your point," she said bitterly. "I suppose you all hate my guts for fluffing this up."
"A show of paws?" Kermit suggested.
Not a single paw went up.
The anger drained out of her. "Thank you," she said weakly.
They all bunnyhugged her. They took her to the bunnymover station and waved goodbye as the car rolled away.
Then they turned to Kermit. "So what do we do now?"
Kermit <eartwitched>. "We'll go back and make right what we did wrong before. We're going back to Maine."
The warren clerk <eartwitched> as a familiar-looking buck appeared.
"We'd like to apply for a permit for a demonstration," the buck said politely.
"Ah, yes. Here are the forms... fill them out completely, please. Then paw print here, here, and here."
The copper-colored buck quietly filled in the forms and waited patiently while it was processed.
The clerk <whacked> it with the official stamp and handed it back. "Here you are."
"Thank you kindly," the buck said, and hopped out of the office.
The clerk tapped his claws on the table. There was something familiar about that buck. He double-checked the application.
Oh Frith. Not THAT bunch again. And he had just given them permission to protest.
He grabbed the telephone. Security would want to know that the lunatics were back.
"What are we for?!"
"FRITH NOT WAR! FRITH NOT WAR!"
"Who are we for?!"
"FRITH NOT WAR! FRITH NOT WAR!"
A few dozen assorted buns bounced around in a circle waving signs and chanting anti-war slogans. They pawed out leaflets explaining their position. The leaflets read 'To Fight is Not Fluffy' and 'The Benefits of Peace'.
Before long, a snowshoe hare led a regiment of milbuns up to the protesters. The milbuns lined up in front of their leader and saluted. He hopped down the line inspecting them in formation before turning to the protesters.
<STOMP!>
The protesters fell silent. A copper-colored buck hopped forward. "Can I help you, sir?"
"I see you have returned," Lt. Flatpaw sneered. "Is *that* *lop* with you?"
"No, sir. She was voted out of her position of leadership." He turned to the demonstrators. "Could you please line up and show the officer that Essence is no longer with us?"
The buns spread out to show him that they were not hiding the lop.
"My name is Kermit, sir," the buck stated. "And we have our permit to protest." He pawed it over to Lt. Flatpaw.
Flatpaw examined it briefly. "You're in the wrong place, buns."
"What?!" <disbelievingfluff> "I checked with the locals; this *is* the place indicated on our permit - below the Machias Town Square."
Flatpaw <fangygrinned> at him. "It says here you may protest in the Machias Town Square. I'll give you flatlandah buns credit for getting it close, but you're not in the right place."
"I thought that was a typo." <droopears> "Surely you don't mean we are supposed to protest topside?"
"Yes, that's what the permit says: 'Machias Town Square'. Not below it. *IN* it."
"But won't the humans see us?"
<shrugfluff> "So?"
Kermit stared dumbfounded at Flatpaw.
Again Flatpaw <fangygrinned>. "Like I said, you're not familiar with how things are here."
He glared at the bunch of them. "Unless you want to be found in violation of our laws, I suggest you follow me."
Flatpaw led the way down a warren tunnel. A few of his milbuns fell in directly behind him. The rest fell in behind the protesters. He led them to the surface and the bright sunshine of late morning. There was the tinge of salt in the air. Seagulls wheeled in the sky overhead. The protesters hesitated a moment, only to be shoved from behind and out of the protection of the warren.
Flatpaw led them down the sidewalk of the human town and to a street corner. He paused while the others caught up with him. Much to the newcomers' amazement, a human vehicle rolled to a stop and let them cross the intersection.
They approached a small park with a statue in it. There in the park, a group of humans were chanting and waving signs like: 'Support our Troops, Not our Government!', 'Impeach the President!', and 'Make War on Poverty, Not for Oil!'.
The humans fell silent at Flatpaw's approach. There was a small amount of booing from somewhere in the back of the group of humans. One glared back at the group causing them to fall silent. That one then stepped forward and handed a piece of paper to Flatpaw.
Flatpaw looked the paper over. "Your protest permit is in order, Mr. Jones."
Kermit glanced sideways at some of his companions. There was some whispering among them, "The humans here take orders from the buns?!"
"Beats me," Kermit whispered back surprised that the humans would need to show a permit to a bunny in order to protest in a human town.
Flatpaw glanced back at the peacebuns. "I've got some friends here who will be joining you. Kermit this is Mr. Daniel Jones. Mr. Jones, this is Kermit. These buns are from somewhere in New York, but like you, they don't like war. I'm sure you'll get along swell." <fangygrin>
Flatpaw turned about face and hopped off with the milbuns following him. Kermit and the other buns looked up nervously at the humans. The humans scooted down closer to their level and looked at their signs.
"Is it true?" Dan asked suddenly. "They didn't put you up to this, did they? You are actually here to protest against the war?"
Before Kermit could answer, one of the other buns piped up, "Yes. War is not Frith's way!"
Dan smiled. A smiling human was frightening to behold, baring all those teeth in a mouth large enough that it could bite a rabbit's head off. "I think we'll get along quite well."
Kermit was startled as Dan reached down. The human briefly scritched him behind the ears just *so*.
Kermit quickly relaxed. "They're friends!" he announced to his compatriots.
Dan turned back to the other humans. "Break's over. Let's get back to protesting!"
"Yeah!" the others called out. They hoisted their signs back up and started chanting: "Support our Troops, not the Government!"
Soon the buns joined the chant. Before long they switched off, helping each other protest the others' cause.
"It's nice to see that not all buns are like Flatpaw," Dan stated as he and some of the other protester symps escorted Kermit and his group back to the warren. At the entrance, the humans showed ID badges to the bun guarding the entrance who waved the bunch through.
Kermit made a mental note of this. He was surprised that he hadn't noticed how large the warren entrance was before. Dan and the other humans could easily get in. It was much larger than the Riverside Warren's entrance.
Kermit turned to the human. "Mr. Jones..."
"Please call me Dan."
"Dan, you and the others are the first sympathizers we've ever met in our travels to other warrens. We have Friends down in Binghamton, but we don't interact much with them. There's so much we could learn from each other."
Dan sighed. "I know. I just wish our permit was for more than just the one day during daylight hours. We'd welcome you back up at anytime."
They rounded the corner to the bunmover station to find the door barred. A small sign on the door read: "CLOSED". They flagged down a passing bun.
The bun looked them up and down. "You must be From Away. This isn't some large warren like DEWComm or Musquash. This is *Machiaswarren*. The last bunmover leaves at 6 pm."
"Oh dear," <concernedfluffle>.
The local bun noddled back.
"Okay, so when does this open again?"
"Nine AM tomorrow."
The other buns gathered around Kermit poofled in concern. Kermit <don'tpanicfuffed>. "So, is there a safe place for us to spend the night?"
The local bun <shrugfluffed>. "This is *Machiaswarren*. We're not equipped to handle such a large number of visitors for the night. I suppose you could sleep in one of the tunnels as long as you leave a lane clear for emergencies..."
"I and the others will put you up," Dan volunteered. "It'll give us more time to get to know one another. Maybe we can coordinate our next protest."
"You would do that?" Kermit <gratefulfluffed>. "Frith has blessed us with your presence. Thank you."
Dan pulled out a folded piece of leather from a back pocket of his pants. He removed a couple of green pieces of paper from it and handed them to one of the other symps. "Go get some Snapple(tm) and food for our guests. We'll have a barbecue at my place."
As the other symp hurried off, Dan called to him, "Don't forget the Sam Adams!"
Dan took charge of cooking, flipping a combination of hot dogs, regular and veggie burgers, and spam slices on one grill with one hand while holding a Sam Adams(tm) Lager in the other. He would then switch from spatula to tongs and turn foil-wrapped corn on the other grill. Kermit sat on a stool with a Kiwi-Strawberry Snapple in paw watching the symp expertly grill the meat, soy and veggies to perfection. Around the two, the symps and buns co-mingled, in most cases with the symps gently petting the buns or exchanging stories.
"Dan," Kermit ventured, "we really appreciate your hospitality. You and your group are a Frithsend to us."
Dan took a sip of his microbrew and smiled. "Friends help one another. That's one thing we try not to forget. Ever since the ice storm that's how it's been here. We help your kind and you help us."
Kermit looked up at Dan as the human turned the corn again. "I don't understand. Ice storm?"
Dan chuckled. "Wait, that's right. You're not from around here." He started transferring corn to a platter and another human carried it over to some picnic tables.
"A little over five years ago, this area was hit by a heavy ice storm, leaving more than two inches of ice on everything. Our power transmission system here Down East was destroyed. It was weeks before we had power again. The bunny warrens in this region relied on the same power grid. At that time very few of my people knew of them. They came out of hiding and we helped each other through those long, dark, cold nights telling each other our stories and keeping warm in numbers. That's when we learned of the plight your species faces against the evil Fudds."
During all this, Dan transferred the meat onto another platter which was carried over to the tables. At a nod from Kermit, Dan carefully picked him up and carried him over to the feast.
"It's what you do around these parts - help a neighbor in need," another human stated picking up where Dan left off the tale. "The bunnies didn't forget our kindness and saw how badly we needed stable employment around here. A little over a year later, they brought in industry and jobs." He unwrapped a foil-covered corn cob and yelped at the steam, shaking his hands vigorously.
"Environmentally friendly jobs," yet another human piped in, this one female, or so Kermit believed. She spread some Raye's Stone Ground Mustard(tm) on a burger roll before placing a veggie burger patty on it. "Plastic toy parts are shipped up here and we assemble them into toys for the various fast food restaurants and tourist shops in and around Disney World."
"At the moment anyway," Dan added. "What we assemble and for whom changes every month."
"How is it environmentally friendly?" Kermit asked as he was served grilled spam and part of an ear of corn. "Plastic can be nasty stuff."
"It's recycled from soda bottles and milk jugs," Dan replied. "And we do all the assembly in our homes when we feel like it. We get paid by the number of pieces we put together. By doing it in our homes, there is no large, ugly factory in town belching out smoke. Just a new lease on life for the old sardine cannery on the edge of town that acts as the storage warehouse now. So we work flexible hours - which makes it easy for us to coordinate war protests."
"That's just one of the things they do for us. We have some joint classes for our kits, though your species grows up and learns much faster than ours. Basically, every human-run business in this town is open to rabbits and a good portion of rabbit businesses in the warrens - well, at least those in the portions of the warrens built after the ice storm - are open to humans." Dan bit into his burger and wiped ketchup from his chin.
The human Dan had sent off to buy food leaned close to Kermit as the bun nibbled at his food. "I hope you don't mind that I couldn't obtain any Fudd toes for you or your friends."
Kermit stared dumbfounded and in shock at the statement.
The human continued before Kermit could reply. "They don't get them that often in Machiaswarren, and I wasn't sure how you'd react since you and the others are anti-war buns."
Kermit stammered a moment before regaining his composure. "You, you know about toes?"
The humans present all nodded. "Yes," Dan answered for the group. "We know all about how your kind savors Fudd toes." He gnawed on his corn cob.
Kermit looked up at Dan and blinked a few times. "It doesn't bother you?"
Dan shrugged his shoulders as he chewed his food. When he swallowed, he replied. "They get what they deserve. It's not like you're going to leap at me and rip my toes off. That's just Fudd propaganda. Friends treat their friends like...well friends. There was a Fudd incident north of here this past winter. The Fudd killed several buns trying to defend the warren before the Fudd was killed. The dead buns' families and kits didn't have to worry about food for the next month, but that's little consolation for losing one's mate or parent. War is evil."
"Here, here!" The other humans clinked drink bottles.
Kermit made more mental notes, internally worried that he was in over his ears. Nothing in his training at Riverside had prepared him for this.
"So, tell us, Kermit, what is it like at your warren?" Dan asked for the group.
Kermit took a napkin and wiped off a bit of butter that had dribbled from the corn onto his fur. He needed a moment to think.
He decided to start with a history lesson and take it from there.
"The original Parlor City Warren had its roots with the founding of the city of Binghamton. As the city grew, so did we. Our Friends (we don't call our human sympathizers symps) were not many, but we did have a hand in making our city nicer. With our help and guidance a medical facility was founded and a pharmaceutical company was created. With thriving businesses and elegant housing along our streets, it truly was The Parlor City. In later years we convinced a local business - The Endicott Johnson Shoe Company - to build inexpensive houses, parks, and carousels for their workers and their families."
"But we became arrogant. We thought we were better than any other creature on earth. We abused our Friends and fought amongst ourselves. And Frith punished us for it." Kermit lowered his ears sadly.
"The core of our warren along the riverside was flooded in 1935 and again in 1936. The satellite warrens on the hills of the south side of Binghamton and the north side of the nearby village of Endicott escaped unscathed and became autonomous. And although we soundly defeated a terrible attack by the Fudds, we lost many good Friends and fellow bunnies. The flood of 1960 struck us even though we'd moved to higher ground and finally came building of a freeway right over our main tunnels."
"It was then that Furry Thunderfoot, a decorated war veteran, declared that we were being punished by Frith for forgetting our true nature." Kermit put his paws together. "We had been consumed with violence and had lost The Ky00t Within. Only by finding our Inner Fluff could we regain the Blessings of Frith."
The others bunnies paused in eating. A quiet "OM" rose up from them. Cutons fizzed off them like bubbles from cherry cola.
"So we are now three warrens. Northside has fallen in with... bad elements - the Mafia. Southside has quietly built links with the local college. They hope to train the next generation of Friends. And we, the Riverside Parlor City Warren, have chosen to Embrace the Fluff. Our path is one of Peace. Our ultimate goal is to stop the war between us and humanity: to find peace with the Fudds. And when both sides have agreed to put down their weapons..." his eyes grew wide with vision, "We can embrace the entire world with bunny hugs."
"But we are a small warren. Our Friends are aging. There are few jobs in the area so the children are leaving. But we have faith in our vision. That is what brought us here: to tell our fellow buns that we must cease this war with the Fudds and find peace."
Kermit put a paw on Dan's hand and looked up at him with a Wide-Eye Blink(tm). "And I believe that if the Fudds could see us as you see us, the war would end tomorrow."
Kermit stirred in his sleep. He felt something brush against his fur, not quite like another bunny nuzzling him, but an attempt to imitate it. He opened his eyes and nearly yelped in surprise, having forgotten where he was. Dan held a single finger to his lips indicating the rabbit should keep quiet. Kermit looked about himself to see that others in his group remained fast asleep. He did a quick headcount and found he was missing several buns. He calmed himself before he could panic when he remembered that some were taking shelter with other friends.
The previous night flashed back in his memory. They had all eaten more than their fill and retired for the night, some at Dan's home and others at some of the other sympathizers' homes. Kermit was initially hesitant to split up his group but the humans seemed so kind and open that his group had vote to split themselves up among the humans.
After all, such good behavior should be rewarded. And what greater reward was there than to be amongst bunnies?
But it was the first time he'd ever set paw in a human dwelling. It was alien to him, yet Dan was there. Dan had proven that he was a friend. Friends protect their friends. Kermit blinked back into the present as Dan scritched him just so to calm any fears. The human hand gestured that he should follow the him quietly out of the room.
"What's up?" Kermit asked in a whisper as they quietly moved out of the house onto the front porch. It was still dark out, but the eastern horizon was showing the first signs of predawn. The only sound other then the two of them breathing were bird songs and crickets.
"We need to talk, leader-to-leader, you and me, Kermit. But not here. What I need to talk about is important. Come."
Dan walked to a car, an old 80's VW Golf and opened the door. "I promise we'll be back in time for you to catch the bunmover. There's something I need to show you."
Kermit hesitated a moment and then hopped down off the porch to the human vehicle. He'd never been inside a car before. Cars were alien, dangerous devices and the third major cause of death amongst his people. But this was Dan, his new friend, so he put aside his doubts. Dan held the passenger door open and he hopped in.
Dan started the vehicle up and backed out of the driveway. Kermit's nose twitched, but not because of the expected vehicle fumes.
"Do I smell french fries?" Kermit asked a bit puzzled.
Dan chuckled. "I had tinkered with the diesel engine in this car a few years back. It can run on biodiesel refined from used vegetable oil. What's neat about that is as you drive down the street, instead of choking pedestrians on diesel fumes, all they smell are french fries. And it's more environmentally friendly than other vehicle fuels."
"Even electric cars?"
"Well, those vehicles must be recharged by plugging them into an outlet. So they rely on the power grid. That power has to be generated somewhere. Unfortunately, outside of Maine, most of the power in the northeast is either nuclear or generated from burning something. So you are still polluting the environment and maybe in a much worse way than if you drove a normal car."
Kermit nodded as they passed through Machias' town center. "Solar energy is getting very competitive. We have a company installing them on both houses and industries."
Dan chuckled. "We don't get as much daylight this far north."
He turned onto a side road. Kermit stood up on his hindpaws so he could lean against the side window and watch the scenery.
"So where, exactly, are we going, Dan?"
Dan chuckled. "Patience, Kermit. You'll like it. It's another ten minutes by car and then a short walk after that."
"Dan, please pull over?"
"Are you okay?" Dan asked with concern as he pulled to the side of the road and stopped.
Kermit looked over at Dan, made and kept eye contact. He gathered his Inner Fluff and did his best to keep the nervousness out of his voice. "Please, Dan, I wish to know where we're going in your car that smells of french fries, at the crack of dawn before Frith bares her warmth upon another day." <blinkyeyes>
Dan simply smiled. "All right. I meant for it to be a surprise. I'm taking you to watch the sunrise on the Cutler Bold Coast. It's public reserve land that our rabbit friends helped preserve some years ago. It's five miles of Maine's rockbound coast preserved as it was before my species commercialized or privatized the rest of the coast. It shall remain that way forever."
"Once Frith can bear witness on what I need to talk about, then I'll talk further."
Kermit <perkedears>. A human who gave honor to Frith? This was getting more and more interesting. "Then please proceed."
* * * * *
Dan pulled the VW into a small dirt parking lot. There were a couple of other vehicles parked there that had dew all over them.
"Most likely they hiked all the way to the other end of the preserve where there are a few primitive campsites. It's about three-quarters of a mile down the path to the coast. Do you want me to carry you?"
Kermit shook his head. "I've ridden too many bunnymovers. I need to stretch." He followed Dan down the wood path. It was easy going in the twilight. They moved down the path in near silence. Kermit was impressed at how quiet the human could be when he chose to. The sounds of ocean waves grew louder as they proceeded down the trail. Dan suddenly pulled up short and Kermit stopped by his side.
"You have to watch where you're leaping," Dan said in a quiet tone. He parted the bush in front of Kermit to show that there was a drop-off beyond.
Kermit looked below and gulped. The drop to the rocks and water below must have been at least fifty times his own height. "Whoa! That's quite a drop. Maybe you should carry me."
Dan gently scooped him up and carried him along the cliff edge. They came to an opening in the bushes that provided both with unobstructive views He set him down and sat next to him. The eastern horizon was starting to brighten up.
Dan pointed off to an island on the horizon slightly right of straight ahead. "That's Grand Manan, part of Canada. And we couldn't've timed our trip better," he added as the sun broke the far horizon. The only sound was the ocean waves against the rocks below. Then the breeze picked up, breaking the calm and whistling quietly in the pine and spruce around them. Kermit was awed and silent. It hurt to look at for long, but both watched in shifts in silence until the sun cleared the horizon.
But beyond the sunrise, here he was sitting next to a human and both were enjoying a moment of pure beauty. *This* was the world his warren longed for, worked for and fought for. Humans and buns sharing this wide wonderful world.
Kermit crawled onto Dan's lap. "You really do understand us." <touchnose> "Thank you."
Dan smiled and stroked Kermit's fur. "They say that even Commander CrimsonPaw spends time here to commune with Frith when he needs to make important decisions that will affect the entire confederation."
"That's right, I do," a gray peppered buck with crimson-streaked forepaws stated as he hoped out from some nearby underbrush.
Dan's jaw dropped. "Commander, sir..."
<sighfluff> "Jerry, Mr. Jones. We are in the presence of Frith." Jerry gestured almost human-like toward the early morning sun out to sea. He turned to Kermit. "And if Daniel Jones is here than you must be the leader of those protesters From Away."
"Kermit, Commander, sir...er Jerry." He bowed.
Crimsonpaw nodded approval. "First off, before you ask, Dan didn't know I was here. I just happened to be doing as he said, contemplating an important issue, namely the disruptions caused by your demonstration in Machias Town Square yesterday, especially when you missed the last bunmover out and I heard that your group spent the night with Dan's group."
"I do apologize..." Kermit started.
Jerry cut him off with a wave of his paw.
"I've seen your literature. It is a worthy cause you try to promote." Jerry drooped his ears. "But far before its time. Be careful out there. There are others who, if they learned what you were trying to do, would arrange a few 'accidents'."
"I know," Kermit said with soft sadness. "Several of our groups have not returned."
Jerry stared out at the sun over the ocean for a moment. "We've already tried to prove to others that our two species, humans and rabbits, can coexist in peace right here in Down East Maine, but there are too many on both sides of the war who refuse to see."
Jerry closed his eyes. "We came so close a few years ago..." He fell silent and moved back a few hops, keeping his eyes closed.
"Close? Close to peace?" Kermit <curiousfluffed>. "With the Fudds?"
"Yes," Dan stated when Jerry remained silent. "The buns here all but defeated the Fudds in battle. But in doing so, they unleashed something worse, the Fouriers."
<STOMP!> Jerry snapped his eyes open again. "Proof that the two are working together!" He forced himself to calm down a bit before continuing. "Over the next several months they attacked our warrens, killing over a hundred innocent civilian buns, including kits. The worst attack was in a bunmover terminal; over thirty were killed."
He looked Kermit in the eyes. "You waste your time here, Kermit. True peace is beyond our reach. The Fudd threat has been subdued. They stay to their side of the border and we stay on ours. However, should we drop our guard we will be destroyed by the Fouriers."
Kermit looked at Dan. "You've done incredibly well. In some ways, this is Paradise. But I understand the Demons that sit at your border." He decided against telling Jerry about the brave, doomed souls that had ventured to the Fouriers.
Jerry stared out over the ocean again as a harbor seal briefly poked its head out of the water below. "As Dan stated earlier, I come out here when I need to make important decisions. Sometimes, I'll spend all night out here." <gigglefluff> "My kits were conceived out here." He trailed off again.
"Kits are always a blessing," Kermit <amusedfluffed>.
"Quite true," Dan added as he stroked Kermit's fur.
"So you were out here last night because of my group," Kermit stated.
Jerry nodded as he was reminded about his earlier statement. "Several buns filed complaints. They consider your ideas dangerous. Flatpaw wanted me to punish the bunch of you for overstaying your permit. And I've made my decision." <gigglefluff> "You were in an area that's beyond my jurisdiction."
Kermit blinked.
"My title is 'commander', but I'm a civilian warren leader, similar to what humans call a governor. I am 'commander' of the Down East Warren Confederation, an association of all the warrens in eastern Maine. I am not in charge of the human towns that are on the surface of that territory. You and your group protested in the public square of a human town and had the permits to do so. Local human government allows free speech. Thus you were not in violation of our laws, nor human law."
"But..." Kermit looked towards Dan. "I saw Dan produce a permit for Flatpaw - as if it was required."
"Law enforcement is shared by both humans and buns in areas where a warren and town exist on top of each other," Dan replied. "As such, Flatpaw had every right to ask for my permit, which I got from the Machias town office."
"Ah." Kermit pondered the interdependency of the town and warren. He could guess that some areas overlapped and some did not.
Jerry <gigglefluffed>. "I suggest, Kermit, that you and your group not miss the bunmover today. As for me, I need to get back to my office. Good day." Jerry turned and hopped back through the bushes.
Dan stared in the direction that Jerry had hopped in. "I never met him before," Dan said. "He seems a descent bun. Not to be insulting, Kermit, but he seems almost human. Of course, from my understanding, the commander started in human-bun relations working with a local family before the Ice Storm. The spring after the storm...or maybe it was a year later...anyway he had just been elected the new commander when the human family he worked with were all killed in a car-moose collision. Very sad..."
Kermit gave Dan a little snuggle.
"Then that buck has been through a lot, especially if that family was anything like you are, Dan. I would be very sad to lose such Good Friends." Kermit paused a moment. "We should get back before we're missed. What was it you wanted to talk about?"
"Huh? Oh, sorry. Yes, we should get back. We can talk on the way." They started back up the trail. "Some in my group want to join you."
"In the protests?" Kermit asked.
"No, join your warren."
<incredulousfluff>
Selene was roused from her painful sleep by a ringing metallic sound.
<clink!>
<chopchopchopchopchopchopchopchop>
<clink!>
She struggled briefly against her chains but was bound too tight. In the darkness of the small box she could hear someone outside begin to sing.
"Hello, bunnies! Well hello, bunnies! It's so nice to have you here where you belong...."
The cover flew off her cage and one of the monsters stared down at her with great glee. "And what shall you be? Dinner? Breakfast? Snack?"
Selene decided that even though she was trapped and doomed to die, she would not give up. "This is wrong! It's not Fluffy! It's not Ky00t! Turn away from violence..."
"Oh ho! You sound like one of those weirdos from my old home town," the monster said and retreated from her view. "I've been lectured about preaching to the food, but I never expected the food to preach to me!"
The chopping sound continued and Selene could smell mint.
"I'm from Riverside Parlor City Warren."
The chopping sound stopped and the monster reappeared above her. "Really? Lori's warren?"
"Why yes!" Hope sprang up within her. "We volunteered to come here to spread our ideals. Peace with the humans is possible!"
"Oh yes, I know!" the creature replied. "We have excellent relations with the local Fudds." <tilt head> "How is Farley?"
<blinkeyes> "You know Farley?"
"We escaped Northside together," he said distantly as if remembering something he'd once lost.
"You must be Hammy," she said, hoping to somehow connect with whatever bunnyness might lie dormant with the Fourier. "I heard about you."
"No... I was once Hammy. My old life. I've been... " his eyes became crazed, "Reborn. I am Hannibal now. You came be reborn too, you know."
She cringed at his look. "No... that's not Fluffy." She lifted her head up. "You and Farley were friends, weren't you."
"Yes... yes," his eyes became distant. "We shared something. I remember now...we were close, very close."
"He thinks of you a lot, I know it," Selene said.
"And I think of him. Yes. The road less travelled."
"You don't have to do this... Ham... Hannibal. You can be cured!"
His monstrous visage softened. "I can?"
"With Frith all things are possible!" she said with growing confidence.
"Even... someone like me?" he whispered. "So lost... so twisted... how?"
"You can start be getting me out of here," she whispered. "I know you can do it."
"I can..." he whispered. "I can, I can!" <proudeartilt> "Yes, I can!"
Then he <fangygrinned>. "But I won't."
Selene barely had time to see the knife. Then there came pain and darkness.
---
Hannibal received many compliments about his latest dish. When asked what he called it, he replied, "Hope Risen - then Destroyed."
On the drive back Dan told Kermit of his plans. He detailed the reasons why they wanted to leave and journey down to Binghamton.
"They want to go with you because of what you said last night. There are about a dozen of them who want to move down to Binghamton, at least for a while. They want to help you. Help you in recruitment of more Friends to the Cause. How long they stay would depend on how recruitment goes and what they think of Binghamton. Work shouldn't be a problem. I'm sure we could make arrangements to farm out some of the assembly work down that way."
Kermit listened with twitching ears. This was a political minefield he'd just entered. One mis-hop could be fatal. He didn't want to appear to be stealing sympathetic humans from another warren.
Dan paused for a moment "And you're different from the bunnies here. You seem more... centered. Collected."
"All bunnies are born to the Ky00t," Kermit remarked, "But we in Riverside have worked on our Inner Fluff. It makes our presence more soothing than other buns."
"Well, I find your folks delightful," Dan replied with a smile. "You're a breath of fresh air compared to Flatpaw."
"I understand your desire," Kermit said quietly. "It's wonderful that you'd want to join us in the Parlor City. But I must warn you that there may be a few hurdles in the way."
"Oh?" Dan raised an eyebrow. "What would they be?"
"You have very close relations to the local warren. Where we are, some warrens have humans not as Friends but as... " he struggled to find the right word, "Employees. I don't want to appear to be... poaching sympathizers."
Dan laughed. "Sort of like a corporate head-hunter?"
"Something like that. Some warrens hold their Friends very close and are reluctant to see them leave."
"I'm sure something can be arranged," Dan said confidently. "After all, the bunnies don't rule us... they're our friends. Although they'll be sad to see us go."
They pulled into Dan's driveway. Kermit touched Dan's knee with his paw. "There is another thing to discuss. Many warrens don't tell the complete truth to their Friends. We do. I don't want to reflect badly on Machias Warren, but I don't think they've told you a very specific thing about us bunnies."
Dan looked puzzled. "What would that be?"
Kermit sighed. "The Truth about Toes."
"But we know about how you crave Fudd toes..." Dan started.
"Dan... please." Kermit sat up on the car seat and calmed himself. Some humans took this badly. He was sure that Dan would be fine, but he wondered about the others when they found out.
"It's not just Fudd toes... it's *all* human toes. A few warrens battle the Fudds enough to get the toes they want. Most don't. But the craving for it is very strong."
There. He'd said it. The die was cast.
Dan looked at him and blinked in surprise.
"But we're peaceful bunnies. War is Wrong: it's not Fluffy. We have found some substitutes for toes - but they're not sufficient to fulfill our instinctive desires. Instead..." he took a breath, "Our Friends have set up a fund that gives money to those who wish to donate their bodies for medical research when they die. The medical researchers still get the remains for research... minus the toes."
"Dan, you now know the truth about us. Are you still willing to join us?"
Dan was quiet a moment as he set the car in park, but didn't make any move to unlock the doors. "I'm surprised."
"I understand if you're upset, Dan."
"No, I'm not upset. I'm just surprised that you'd think we might be naive about toes." He shook his head. "But at the same time, it's reassuring to know that your thinking and those of our friends here aren't much different."
Kermit blinked. "I'm... relieved. But you mentioned 'Fudd toes' - I thought you didn't know."
"We emphasize 'Fudd Toes', 'cause friends don't nibble on their friends." He winked. "Or we wouldn't be friends for very long, would we?"
Kermit smiled at Dan's relaxed and humorous response. "So it doesn't bother you?"
"We're not the same species. I know many of my own kind who dine on rabbit."
Kermit twitched his ears but did his best not to appear alarmed.
"Some of them don't live too far from here. 'Dumb' rabbit, of course, but rabbit all the same. I could go out and get some rabbit meat today if I wanted some. But if I did, I wouldn't cook and eat it under the nose of my furry friends. In the same way, they don't usually dine on toes in our sight. Call it common courtesy." Dan shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh. That makes sense." The thought of someone killing, cooking and eating his distant relatives made him queezy.
"Most of us in the area have also designated ourselves as organ donors on our driver license, meaning if we're killed in an auto accident and any of our internal organs survive intact, they can be given to others in need. Around here though, that goes one step further. Our toes will go to orphan kits. It's the least we can do and at that point," again Dan shrugged, "It's not like we'd need them anymore."
Kermit was caught off guard by Dan's statements.
"As I said last night at dinner, those of us who first met your kind during the ice storm spent two weeks in close quarters with them. There were no secrets between us afterwards." Dan got out of the vehicle and held the door open for Kermit who hopped out behind him.
Kermit hesitated to ask the next question, but it needed answering before he knew what to do next in regards to these humans' request. "Is there anything you feel uneasy about or dislike about us?"
Dan thought for a moment. "That's a loaded question, Kermit. You know our feelings about war, especially our current government's policies. If there's anything I dislike it's that you as a species don't come out into the open everywhere. I bet we wouldn't be in half the mess we're in if there was a bunny in the White House."
Kermit stopped to ponder Dan's statement. "A bunny in the White House? I don't think so. We've seen the way you treat your presidents when it comes to matters of sex. We're a different species and have different... urges. We're *bunnies*, you know?" <humorousfluff>
Dan tossed his head back and laughed. "Gotcha! I take it you're not a monogomous species?"
"Well, not by nature," Kermit replied. He motioned to the porch steps. "Come sit with me?"
Dan sat on the steps next to Kermit.
"We're both intelligent species," Kermit began, "But we're differently intelligent. Even with the claws and teeth Frith gave us to defend our warrens and our kits, we're still designed like prey animals. Our eyes are to the side to see all around, our ears are hypersensitive and we can run like -well, like jackrabbits."
"But you are born hunters. Your eyes are in front to track down prey. You can lope like wolves when you need to, and slowly chase down nearly any sprinter. You're psychically territorial: anything that you perceive as your own, you will defend either physical land or area of knowledge. And, forgive me Dan, but your species has become experts at the art of the slaughter. Not to mention that you can't distinguish between between the 'dumb' bunnies and us."
"We will stay hidden until humanity can rise above its need to kill everything in its path - especially in the pursuit of wealth. We bunnies, other species, even the planet itself will not be safe until humanity realizes that they too have an Inner Fluff."
Dan's eyes widened. "Yes," he said quietly. "We all could have an Inner Fluff."
"Mind you, we're no angels - if we are to live openly together certain things will have to change. No more open-toed shoes," he nosed Dan lightly. "Some of us have *no* manners and would leer at them much worse than your construction workers leer at pretty does... ah, women."
Dan chuckled and shook his head. "I get that."
"But we bunnies must give up the paranoia on our side and stop the in-fighting between ourselves. When I was a kit war between the local warrens was narrowly avoided."
"But we can do it!" he said with quiet conviction. "You're proof of that! And if you come back with us, we can show that it's possible anywhere!"
Lori Whitetail heard the phone ring and reflexively reached for it. She stopped with her paw in mid-air. Let the secretary take it, she told herself. That's what you got her for.
Delicate Moon poked her head in her burrow. "Ma'am, it's Kermit on the phone. He says he's got people who want to join us."
She blinked. "People? Not bunnies?"
"That's what he said."
"Put him through." She picked up the phone. "Kermit?"
"Yes Ma'am. I'm up in Machiaswarren... well, I'm actually in the *town* of Machias."
"Is that where you had problems before?" <distressfluff>
"Uhm, yes. No problem now. Except we met the Friends of Machiaswarren and some of them want to come down to Binghamton and help us."
She sat dumbfounded at her desk. "All the way from Maine?"
"Yes, ma'am. There's a bunch of younger people here..."
She nodded. Most of the Parlor City Friends were getting older. They could use some new blood. "Well. This is an unexpected blessing. I'd like to learn some more about these new Friends. And you'd best tell them that there's not a lot of employment opportunities in this area."
"Oh, some of them will be bringing their own employment."
<perkears> She hastily scribbled a note to her secretary. "Call these Friends," she whispered to her.
"Kermit, tell me more about these humans...."
"Put the speakerphone on the coffee table, Dan, so everyone can hear," Kermit suggested.
"I'm sure you bunnies will have less problem with that than us humans," Dan quipped as he pulled on his earlobes.
Kermit stood up and looked around the living room. All his buns and a number of new Friends were seated around the telephone. "Are we all comfortable?"
More than one human had a bunny in their lap. Kermit fluffed with delight. How could they not be?
He dialed the number.
"Riverside Parlor City, Lori Whitetail here," came a sweet, soft voice. "How can I help you?"
"Lori? It's Kermit. I've gathered the Friends I told you about."
"Frith's blessing on you all. I've gathered important members of the warren for this historic occasion. Do you have a leader who will speak for you?"
Dan leaned over towards the speakerphone. "Hi, I'm Dan Johnson. Please, call me Dan."
"Kermit has conveyed your wish to come join us in Binghamton. Although we are pleased that you desire to join us, I worry about your leaving your friends and loved ones so far away."
"I also have few resources in Maine, so you will have to find your own transportation down. Although there are bunnymovers that reach Parlor City warrens, they are not human-sized."
"But I have contacted our Friends and they assure me that there are houses a-plenty for you and yours; you may come as soon as you wish. And we will be able to assist with your needs when you arrive."
"I speak for the others, Ms. Whitetail, but I will not be accompanying them. There are twelve here who will be relocating to Binghamton. It's a shame that you can't accommodate at least one on the bunmover system who could then help coordinate the relocation. But, that's all right. They'll just play it by ear when they get down there. How should they make contact with you upon arrival?"
"By telephone. I'll give you the numbers of our Friends who will come and greet you." A soft rustling sound could be heard over the line. "Believe me, you will be welcomed with open arms. Kermit and his group will accompany your folks down from Maine."
"We will?" Kermit sounded alarmed. "But we know nothing of the human roads! Or human vehicles!"
"But I'm sure the humans do," Lori replied, amused. "Consider it part of the adventure. Dan? Do you have Internet access?"
"Some of us do," he said, at the nods coming around the room.
"I'll put a map to Binghamton up on our website."
Dan blinked. "You have a website?"
"Of course. On the Internet, no one can tell you're a bunny."
Lori and the others coordinated whom to contact and how upon their arrival in Binghamton. After everything was settled, Dan prepared to terminate the call.
"Frith bless and keep you all," Lori stated before the line was disconnected.
Margaret Woodfield poured tea into the fine china cup. "So good of you to come, Mr. Hooper."
"So good of you to have me," he said as he took the cup and saucer. They rattled slightly. "Sorry, I'm afraid my tremor is acting up again."
They sat in overstuffed chairs in Margaret's finely appointed house. They were Binghamton's elite: rich, old and powerful.
And, like Binghamton, in need of revitalization.
A few moments later Renee Gold arrived, bringing with her the most important female of the circle. Lori Whitetail hopped daintily upon the sofa.
"I am very appreciative that you could gather on such short notice," the bunny said with a <thankfulfluff>. "I have great news."
"We have found a group of Friends - about a dozen - up in Maine who would like to join us down here in Binghamton. From all reports they are young, motivated and very excited about the Fluffy movement."
"This is exciting news," Renee said. "How much do they know?"
"They have been well informed by the local warren. They'll be arriving soon by car and will need places to stay."
"I have some vacant properties in Johnson City," Hooper said enthusiastically. "With Southside stealing all our young people we could use some fresh blood around here."
Margaret sat and sipped her tea. Ever since Phong's Reign of Terror she'd given up being a double agent and had remained on good terms with the Riverside Warren. She was old, tired of the game and beginning to doubt the cause of the Fudds. But her suspicions about the bunnies had been reawakened when she heard about the forced but failed attempt at a conversion. Maybe it was time to bring Agent Rat out of retirement.
"We'll welcome them as fellow Fluffy brothers and sisters," Margaret promised.
She also promised herself that Phong would be informed about this new development.
"Are you sure you won't come, Dan?" Kermit asked again.
Dan smiled and scritched Kermit's ears. "No. I have responsibilities here in Machias."
"I'll miss you." <bigeyeblink>
"I'll miss you too, Kermit. Come back to visit."
"I will."
Kermit took a moment to examine the small caravan of cars that would head south. They were rusty and covered with bondo. Most of the tail pipes were held on by coat hangers and sheer stubbornness. Their outsides didn't matter. Only their contents.
He hopped alongside of the metal monsters. It seemed inconceivable that he was actually going to ride for hundreds of miles inside one of them, but he was. And he was taking his little group home.
"Head count!" he called out.
Bunnies poked their heads out of various vehicles. All accounted for. He fluffed with satisfaction.
He bounced to the lead car. Jan, David, and little Michelle were waiting for him.
"Let's roll!" <bounce> <bounce>
"Mom? Can Kermit sit with me?" Michelle asked and gave a little pout.
Kermit nodded in satisfaction. She was very ky00t.
"Kermit? Would you mind?" Jan asked.
"Not at all." And he snuggled up next to the young girl.
She hugged him. "And we can play music and sing all the way to our new home!" With that she started her CD player. The theme song from 'Happy Friendly Folks' burbled out of the speakers.
With the scent of french fries trailing behind them, the cars began their long journey south.
Originally published on alt.devilbunnies December, 2003.